I’ve recently become amazed when looking in the rearview mirror of my life and seeing how God has navigated a far more beautiful journey than I could have ever imagined or planned with my own GPS, even though I’d been wrestling with Him for years to take the wheel myself. As I grow older, His proven promises have only served to strengthen my faith and helped me become much more open to hearing and discerning His will for my life.
When Scott and I first heard and accepted His next purpose for our lives and stepped out on faith to bring a waiting life into this world, we knew there were so many unknowns we would face. Virtually everything in our lives would change, but having a solid track record of successfully facing a myriad of things together as husband and wife and even before, we weren’t too nervous, we always seem to manage to figure it out.
Although this time it was a little different… there was one big aspect of adoption that seemed so out of our immediate grasp, and therefore influence… who would be the couple we were to be matched with? We had both come to realize in our lives that there are some relationships that just don’t “fit”, no matter what you try… and that happens even when you have the full knowledge to choose them and groom them yourselves. Being matched with a donor family from paper seemed even that much more random, there’s no playbook for that.
I’ve mentioned in a previous post, that Clydene, NEDC Patient Coordinator, was and is an angel to us. Immediately, we were put at peace with her approach for matching, both the intellectual and spiritual elements. Looking back, the process itself was so smooth and the selection so clear… if only Clydene could walk with us the next 20 years or so as we gradually get to know this other family we have become inextricably linked with!! But no, that is all for us… and our donor couple… and God.
Although the interactions with our donor couple so far have been very limited, Scott and I are completely confident we are off on the right foot and that God is with us. They are not on our minds or in between our babies and us as I thought they might become before we started this journey. We’ve come to trust that they are living their own lives, and are content that we are living ours. We have shared a few brief emails back and forth, through the adoption agency. Our coordinator at Bethany has commented that we all sound very well suited for each other. Scott and I were excited to share with them when we first received confirmation of our pregnancy and then that everything seems to remain very healthy with our two little girls. We found their words in return so comforting… just the right touch. We could hear their genuine excitement but also their assurance that their happiness was for Scott and me. They indicated they were always open for updates, but didn’t want to be intrusive or a burden.
Immediately after making our decision to adopt but prior to starting the matching process, Scott and I began praying for our donor couple… whomever they might be. But our prayers weren’t for our own good; we prayed for them. We prayed that they were at peace with their decision. We asked God to bless them for their beautiful and selfless decision to preserve His children rather than give in to any fears they might have. We prayed that they would hear, through the words and sentiments we shared in our application, that we were the right choice as well, for their own peace of mind.
I’ve let God take the wheel on this one from the beginning and He’s doing a remarkable job as He always does. He matched Scott and me with our donor couple long before we ever knew we were even adopting, or how… His tapestry is already woven, for all of us and for all time, and it is perfect… all we need to do is listen, be obedient and trust. Psalm 37: 3-6