Last weekend, we had our third visit with Brae’s birth father’s side of the family. We met at a local amusement park that Brae hadn’t yet been to. It was nice to see them all show up to see Brae. All except for one. Unfortunately, Brae’s birth father didn’t make it. Apparently there were some internal family dynamics that caused him to decide not to come. But he did give Brae a birthday gift (a huge stuffed teddy bear that says “I love you”), and he wrote him a card.
By far the biggest hit was the Ford F-150 truck they brought for him. Although Brae was a little hesitant at first, he quickly caught on and was zooming all around the parking lot. He’s definitely the envy of the neighborhood (adults included).
Here’s a video of him riding it for the first time:
At the end of the visit, Brae’s biological great grandmother asked if we could do this again next year. I said, “Of course. We’ve always said that we will continue these visits so long as it is in Brae’s best interest. Right now, because he doesn’t know what is going on, these visits are mostly to create memories, take pictures, and for you. But we feel it’s important that Brae knows his roots and have a connection to his biological family. But, if he ever decides he doesn’t want to come to a visit, we won’t come.”
They appeared to understand. I have a feeling the presents will only get more extravagant as the years go on. What kid doesn’t want to go somewhere and get presents? ; )
In all sincerity, these visits are important to us, for Brae. We have a semi-open adoption and although we have no piece of paper that says we have to do these visits, we love our son tremendously, and don’t ever want him to feel that he was abandoned. He was not. He has a biological family (on both sides) that love him SO much and are grateful for the adoption decision that was made. And if these visits help him see that love, then they are important to us. We don’t expect everyone to understand this (especially if you have not adopted), but as Brae’s parents, we believe strongly we know what is best for him, and for now, these visits are good for him.
In other news…
— This story cracks me up every time I tell it. I picked Brae up from school the other day and we passed by the “time-out” chair, a little chair in the corner of the room all by itself. As Brae and I walked out, Brae points to the chair and yells, “Look, Mommy! That’s Brae’s chair!”
— Sienna started ‘school’ too. She’s at the same Spanish immersion school Brae is at. It’s taking some time for her to adjust. But, on the bright side, I’ve found an alternative to Babywise’s method of getting your child to sleep through the night — take her to a new school where she stays awake all day.