HOME-STUDY UPDATE

This past week our social worker from Bethany Christian Services came to do our annual home-study review. The scheduled appointment time was 3:00 PM. Much to my “surprise” the social worker needed to come early due to a change in his schedule. He had left messages on our home phone, but our phone was not working due to a wiring problem with our line.

I realized the social worker must have arrived early when our dog Maggie started barking at something outside. I looked out the window, and there was a green car in the driveway. It wasn’t a big deal that he’d showed up early, it’s just that, errr, I was still in my pajamas, and errr, it was 12:30 in the afternoon. I thought, this isn’t going to be awkward, errr.

I had been taking care of the baby and straightening the house. Josh had taken half the day off, so I figured when he got home, I could take a hot shower and get dressed. Wank, wank, wank. No such luck. Fortunately, Josh did arrive home soon after the social worker got to the house; so I slipped away and put on some regular clothes. That made it a little, errr, less awkward.

The home visit went well. The social worker asked how everything had been going since the baby’s birth; and how we were adjusting to having a new baby in the house. He also asked if there had been any changes to our family and/or immediate family status. No changes to either. Everything has been as wonderful and hectic as we had imagined.

Josh and I had to update our physical; and John Luke had to get one as well. It was almost time for John Luke’s 4 month visit, so we went ahead and had his latest vaccinations done at the same time. His current measurements are 15 lbs 2 oz, and he’s 25 3/4 inches long.

Josh and I also had to update our financial statements and background checks.

The social worker said there wouldn’t be any problems in getting our home-study renewed. It feels great to have our home-study completed until this time next year.

The home-study review is just a minor technicality, when you think about the blessing we have received. It seemed like a daunting process, when I first read about having to go through all this for embryo adoption. Now it’s just a part of the journey. This time around, it’s all about the reward.

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EMPTY ARMS

It’s hard to believe around this time one year ago, we were just finding out we were pregnant. I have to admit, I don’t remember the exact date, but I think it was March 22, 2012. Probably the most surreal moment of my life.

People often ask if we want more children. I hadn’t even left the hospital after giving birth to John Luke, and I was already thinking about wanting more children. My whole pregnancy and birth experience was so amazing. The love I felt while carrying him, and the love I had for this little one after he was born; started me thinking almost immediately about wanting more, just like him.

Then reality sets in, as the sleepless nights begin. I would ask myself, “How do women with twins or triplets do it?” If I am truthful with myself, even during those nights of every two hour feedings; I was already dreaming of more children.

If you’re reading this, you are most likely on your own infertility journey. I know, I was one of you. While on my quest to have a child, I also read these blogs. I had researched options for third party reproduction when all else seemed hopeless. That’s when I came across the NEDC.

My heart aches if you are reading this with empty arms. I hope you find it encouraging, rather than discouraging; as I post, that we are hoping to “try again” for more children toward the end of the year. I remember how empty I had always felt, when women would announce their desires for more children; before their babies were even crawling. Now, I find myself doing the same.

My wish is to impassion you to persevere. That you will never give up on your dreams for a child, or a house full of children, if that is your desire. Embryo adoption was the path for a child, and God willing, children for us.

I believe if a child is the desire of your heart, God is already preparing the way. Many times we prayed, Lord, if a child is not Your will, then take this desire from our hearts. The desire only grew stronger until we had our precious baby boy.

We have not contacted the NEDC to start the process yet. As I said, it would most likely be toward the end of the year. We have been preparing our home-study update, which I will post about when completed. Josh and I will be 42 years young in a few months, so we don’t have time to wait. We want to have our family completed by the time I “age out” which is at 45 years young.

Josh and I trust that God is again preparing the way.

Psalm 128:3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.

MILESTONES

John Luke is three months and 13 days old today. As to be expected, he has had some milestones recently. He rolled to the side for the first time last month; and this month, is already starting to teethe. It’s hard to believe.

He has been a finicky eater lately, which is unusual for him, and he has been drooling constantly the last week or so. When he was a newborn, one of the signs I knew he was hungry again; was he would start sucking and putting his hands in his mouth. Now, even when he has just eaten, or refuses to eat, he is constantly sucking on his fingers.

I offer a paci, but he prefers his hands. He is definitely going to be a thumb sucker. I’ve been advised to discourage this; however, there is nothing cuter than a baby sucking his thumb. Besides, it soothes him, so I don’t see any reason not to allow it. There will come a time to break the habit, but for now, it’s his favorite way to self soothe.

I don’t even think John Luke wants to be a baby. He acts like he already wants to walk. I think he would drive the car if he could. His favorite pastime, is to stand on our legs, while he’s in one of our laps. He bobbles around like a little surfer dude and laughs with this little side grin. He’ll put one foot in front of the other, as if, he is trying to walk on the top of our legs.

I think I’ve had a few milestones of my own. A reality check is one of them. When you’re in your 40’s, before you’ve had your first child; you’re used to doing things on your timeline. I just thought that I didn’t have time, before I had a child; now I realize what a valuable resource time is. I am learning to use it wisely; not to waste as much time dilly-dallying, so I can enjoy the special moments. To move with a purpose. I don’t want to be” too busy” to let these moments with John Luke to pass me by. It gives a whole new meaning, to doing a load of laundry “with a quickness.”

A friend encouraged me to video his cooing sounds. She said, “Because one day, out of the blue, they will be gone, and you can’t get them back.” The other day while playing with him on the floor, he was “talking” and making all kinds of noises. I remembered what she said. I fought the urge to rush through this moment, and get back to cleaning the dishes which I had started, but not finished. I got back up to finish them, and instead went and got the camera. The dishes will always be there. If I’m not careful, the next thing I know, he will be asking to drive the car.

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LONG LIVE DR. SEUSS

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living; it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.”
Theodor Seuss Geisel

March 2nd was Dr. Suess’s birthday. Like Christmas, you never outgrow Dr. Suess.

I hadn’t realized what life lessons I learned as a kid while reading Dr. Suess. I was captivated by the costumes, and the funny hats. The way the words rolled off the tongue into quirky quotations.

Recently, while reading some quotes from Dr. Seuss; I was affirmed, in an abstract way, of my faith journey through embryo adoption. The quotes remind me of how thinking outside the box, and going beyond your comfort zone; can take you to a world unimaginable. A place you thought unattainable.

I’ve always loved reading positive quotes, for whatever situation I was going through in life. I was always looking for that glimmer of hope.

Read the following quotes from Dr. Seuss, and let your mind explore the possibilities through embryo adoption. Think outside the box. Allow yourself to dream.

“You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.”

“If you keep your eyes open enough, oh the stuff you will learn. The most wonderful stuff.”

“Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So get…on your way.”

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some from behind. But, I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

“And will you succeed? Yes, indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three- quarters percent guaranteed.”

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you’er than you.”

“You’re in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.”

“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.”

“Waiting for the fish to bite, or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night, or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake, or a pot to boil, or a better break, or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants, or a wig with curls, or another chance. Everyone is just waiting.”

When you are going through infertility how true this is.

I am thankful for my son that I explored the possibilities of embryo adoption. Thought outside the box. Delved into the unimaginable.

I can’t wait to read to John Luke his first Dr. Seuss book. Long live Dr. Seuss.