Is He Yours?


I get asked, “Is he yours?” occasionally- probably because of my age.  To that I want to reply, “Who else’s kid would he be?”…..”Considering I am the only person with him?”  I guess being forty something and toting a toddler around causes people curiosity.

Recently, after taking John Luke to the pediatrician, I was asked by the receptionist, if I was the mother or the grandmother.  Err umm…Excuse me while I get the dagger out of my heart, the lump out of my throat, and the restraint not to jump over the desk and clobber you with my diaper bag.

I politely replied, “I am his mother and we have twins on the way!  I’m going to be a busy mom.”  I proudly walked to my seat with my head held high, but I really wanted to find a coat closet and have a good cry.  I’ve worked too hard all these years, to become a mom, to be asked if I’m the grandmother.

So then…I was at a store where I’d purchased a child’s vintage kitchen set a few months ago. The store owner told me she’d been wanting to call to see if my procedure was successful.  I told her we were due with twins in February.  Maybe we’ll get a girl for the kitchen set after all!  Her co-worker replied, “Is he yours.”  The owner gasp then said, “I told you he was hers.”  I laughed and said, “I got a late start, but yes, he’s my son.”

The funny thing is, I know I’m technically old enough to be his grandmother, if I had a twenty something son or daughter, who had a child already.   I don’t see myself as they do I suppose.  I don’t have gray hair yet and don’t feel like I look like a typical grandmother.  I see other people my age with young kids, and do not question their relationship.  I guess because I can relate to them. 

Although, there is a “sting” every time I’m asked if my child- who I labored and birthed- is mine, I will be around forty-five when the twins turn two.  These questions are unlikely to go away.  I just have to remember that people are just nosey- I mean curious!  They really don’t have bad intentions, or mean to hurt me.

When John Luke is old enough to understand he’s adopted, these questions could give me an opportunity to talk about the joys of embryo adoption and the advantages of being an older parent.


One thought on “Is He Yours?

  1. I was 47 by the time I finally managed a pregnancy, so I know well the “grandma” comments. I think you keyed in on something important though – we do not see ourselves the way that others do. Just remember with that that we actually know ourselves! Congratulations on achieving motherhood, and your current pregnancy as well. I was blessed with twins too. Good luck with doing twice as much soon. Anyone who gives you the “2 for the price of 1 special” is absolutely crazy. And twinless!

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