Josh and I registered John Luke in a daycare center (more of a learning center) for when the twins arrive.  I have mixed emotions, but feel it is best for him and for me.  I won’t be able to give him the attention he’s used to getting.  He loves being around other kids and doing different activities.  I think once he adjusts, he will love it.

There’s a 6 month waiting list (in his age group) to the center we applied.  I’m hoping an opening will become available before then.  It would be ideal to get him adjusted prior to the twins arrival; that way, he’s not going through so many changes at once.

There are several factors involved in choosing this daycare.  It’s closest to the hospital for Josh’s commute to work.  We are all going to be a little sleep deprived for the first several months.  I don’t want to add any more time than necessary to his morning commute.  He will have to get up at 5:15AM to have him fed, dressed, and ready to drop  off before being at work at 7AM.

There are many aspects about the center I like.  It’s a large facility- they group the kids by age.  The center does various learning activities for their specific age group.  Because the kids are of the same age, they are mostly on the same schedule.  They go outside twice a day, and do various reading and learning projects throughout the day.  Meals are provided by the center, and they eat “family style” which creates a family like atmosphere.

Josh and I talked with them about my concern that John Luke is in a slapping phase.  The director didn’t seem daunted by it, and had the approach that all kids go through this phase.  She said they help the kids resolve their emotions, and when possible let the kids “work it out”.  She said they have a “Cozy Corner” instead of time-out.  If someone needs time alone to settle down, they can just go play in the Cozy Corner.

I’m happy with our decision- I’m just not sure if I’m ready for John Luke to go to dayscare- I mean– daycare!  His needs are changing, however.  Soon, I will be covered up in poopy diapers, keeping the twins on a schedule, breastfeeding/pumping; and just trying to keep dinner on the table, and clean clothes for everybody to wear.

There was a time when I dreamed of this.  Now it’s all happening.  I used to sit at lunch with my girlfriends, and hear of how they were “covered up” with their kids activities.  The pain would just sting without kids in my life.  I had a perfectly clean house, but an empty heart.  My house will now be “perfectly” messy, but my heart will be overflowing.





Friday, I met with the nurse practitioner at my local ob/gyn for a consultation and 15 week ultrasound.  During the u/s both babies were very active.  Baby A’s heartbeat was 147 and measured in the 47th percentile of growth.  Baby B’s heartbeat was 152 and measured in the 68th percentile.

The ultrasound technician asked if I wanted to know the sex if she could tell.  Knowing I should probably wait for Josh to find out- I couldn’t help myself– and said YES!  She said one appeared be a boy and one a girl.  Josh is worried about me getting too overjoyed about one being a girl, at least until we’re further along.

Next, I had a consultation with the nurse practitioner.  She said my lab results looked good, and both babies were measuring on target.  She also said there is about an 8% variation in growth rates; not to read too much into the difference in percentages between the two fetuses.

We discussed, since I had gestational diabetes during my first pregnancy, for me to treat this pregnancy as if I had diabetes again; and skip the glucose fasting.  There is a higher risk of diabetes with twins.  We decided I might as well be proactive about it.  I did very well during my pregnancy with John Luke, and controlled it with diet.  She gave me a meal plan and recommended foods for managing gestational diabetes (along with charts to keep track of what I’m eating).  She also wrote me a prescription for the test strips.

We scheduled my Anatomy Scan for September 8th, with the genetics counselor, at the University of Tennessee.  It’ll be exciting to see if both babies are healthy- And!  To confirm the sexes!  It’s hard to believe by this appointment, I’ll be at least halfway through my pregnancy, at 19 weeks.

Here is an ultrasound pic of my two peas in a pod!

Scan 2

Is He Yours?


I get asked, “Is he yours?” occasionally- probably because of my age.  To that I want to reply, “Who else’s kid would he be?”…..”Considering I am the only person with him?”  I guess being forty something and toting a toddler around causes people curiosity.

Recently, after taking John Luke to the pediatrician, I was asked by the receptionist, if I was the mother or the grandmother.  Err umm…Excuse me while I get the dagger out of my heart, the lump out of my throat, and the restraint not to jump over the desk and clobber you with my diaper bag.

I politely replied, “I am his mother and we have twins on the way!  I’m going to be a busy mom.”  I proudly walked to my seat with my head held high, but I really wanted to find a coat closet and have a good cry.  I’ve worked too hard all these years, to become a mom, to be asked if I’m the grandmother.

So then…I was at a store where I’d purchased a child’s vintage kitchen set a few months ago. The store owner told me she’d been wanting to call to see if my procedure was successful.  I told her we were due with twins in February.  Maybe we’ll get a girl for the kitchen set after all!  Her co-worker replied, “Is he yours.”  The owner gasp then said, “I told you he was hers.”  I laughed and said, “I got a late start, but yes, he’s my son.”

The funny thing is, I know I’m technically old enough to be his grandmother, if I had a twenty something son or daughter, who had a child already.   I don’t see myself as they do I suppose.  I don’t have gray hair yet and don’t feel like I look like a typical grandmother.  I see other people my age with young kids, and do not question their relationship.  I guess because I can relate to them. 

Although, there is a “sting” every time I’m asked if my child- who I labored and birthed- is mine, I will be around forty-five when the twins turn two.  These questions are unlikely to go away.  I just have to remember that people are just nosey- I mean curious!  They really don’t have bad intentions, or mean to hurt me.

When John Luke is old enough to understand he’s adopted, these questions could give me an opportunity to talk about the joys of embryo adoption and the advantages of being an older parent.



John Luke and I spent a week at Chestnut Bay Resort on Lake Weiss in Alabama with Josh’s family.  Josh was only able to come for the weekend due to work.  On Monday I did my follow-up blood work at Lab Corp in Gadsden, Al.  While in Gadsden, we all went sight seeing to Noccalula Falls.  We toured the park and rode the train.  They had a petting zoo where kids could pet the animals such as rabbits, llamas, goats, and deer.


 Tuesday we rented a pontoon boat and hung out by the lake kayaking, paddle boarding, and swimming.  The lake had a beachfront with lawn chairs and a shallow section for the kids.  John Luke wasn’t as much into swimming as he was playing in the sand.  The lake had a 120 foot water slide the older kids loved.


 On Wednesday my mother and sister-n-law had a girl’s day out for lunch and Antique shopping.  We found this little cafe called Tewana’s which has been featured in Southern Living.  After a couple of bites, we found out why.  It was a great day and we enjoyed the kid free shopping.  Spoke with the NEDC and my blood work came back good.  I am officially released to my Ob/gyn. Yippee!


 Thursday we all loaded up and went to Little River Canyon and Lookout Mountain on a road trip.  We had lunch in a quant little town called Mentone and did some more shopping.


 Friday, John Luke, Pop and I stayed back at the cabin while the rest of the crew went zip-lining in Little River Canyon.  That afternoon we did some more kayaking and paddle boarding.  I’m a little hooked on paddle boarding and told Josh I want a paddle board for my birthday in September.


 We were blessed with beautiful weather.  It started sprinkling Saturday, the day we were leaving.  It was a jammed pack week, but always good to get to spend time together with family.  Here are some pictures from our vacation.

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Sunday night John Luke woke up around 3:30 AM fussy and hot.  I didn’t take his temperature because it was warm in his room.  I turned the air down and rocked him back to sleep.  When he woke up the next morning he was burning hot to the touch.  I took his temperature and is was 103.5!  He’d been in the nursery at church the previous morning.  We figured he’d picked up a virus, or worse- strep- from one of the other kids.  One kiddo just got over strep, and as always, there are a few bugs going around among the tots.


I called his pediatrician and the earliest they could see us was at 3:20 PM.  They said to give him children’s Motrin and to make sure he drank plenty of fluids.  I took his temperature later thinking it would have gone down from the Motrin.  It was 104!  He was only mildly fussy considering the high temperature.


At his appointment, Dr. Snyder swabbed him for strep, and said his throat and ear was red.  She mentioned it could also be viral.  Since he was possibly exposed to strep, she prescribed him antibiotics to be on the safe side.


Last night he woke several times during the night and was miserably fussy.  His fever had gone down, but he couldn’t get comfortable and let you know he wasn’t feeling good.  It reminded me of the sleepless nights ahead after the twins arrive.  It’s hard to see your child sick like that.  You just wish you could be sick instead of them.


On the bright side, I got a call from the NEDC and was told I to come off the meds.  The IVF nurse said to have labs drawn in a week to check my levels.  And!  As of today, I am officially through the first trimester.  Yippee!!





Josh and I had our 10 week ultrasound and lab work at NEDC.  We were relieved to know both babies are growing strong and healthy!  Baby A’s heartbeat was 178 and Baby B’s heartbeat was 186.  Both babies are measuring on track with Baby B being a little bigger.


Baby A was bouncing and awake.  We could see it’s tiny arms and legs moving already, and it’s little body was bopping up and down.  We decided it was the bouncing boy.  Since Baby B was sleeping, we decided it was probably a girl.  Too soon to tell of course, but it’s always fun to guess.


I had blood drawn to see if my Progesterone and Estradiol were at levels where I could start tapering off the medicine.  The IVF nurse called the next day to inform me to taper both meds, and get a blood draw at my local doctor in a week.  Hopefully- my levels will be good enough to come completely off the meds.


I have had an allergic reaction to the Progesterone and have been breaking out in hives since about week 6 of starting the PIO.  We changed the oil from Cottonseed to Oleate to alleviate breakouts, thinking it was the oil base, not the progesterone.  We have seen no change.  I take Benadryl everyday to keep the rashes under control.  I prefer not to take more than necessary while pregnant, but was informed coming off the Progesterone could result in a miscarriage.  Since the benefit outweighs the risk, I take Benadryl right after my injections.


We are glad to be almost through the first trimester!  So happy to be coming off the meds soon, and to know both babies are growing healthy.  Double exclamation mark!!  Pardon the pun…




He loves to talk on the phone.  When the phone rings, he runs up to the phone and points.  He loves to hang up the phone in the holder.  Anything that resembles a phone, he will hold up to his ear and babble.  Most the time, it’s “hi dada.”  He has used my makeup compact, a plastic banana, and the baby monitor for his play phone.  We bought him a “cellular phony”, but he prefers to use random objects.

He loves to stroke stuffed animals when going to sleep.  He also loves to stroke your hands and arms while you are rocking him.  Oddly, he likes to feel the bony parts of your hands.  He will move the skin back and forth over your knuckles and wrists as he is rubbing you.

He loves to smile and wave at strangers.  He demands attention until they notice him saying “hi” -repeatedly- until they acknowledge his efforts.  He has a way of getting what he wants.  Even the sternest of “old kodgers” usually break into a smile after trying to ignore him.

He loves to put toys in his dump truck and transport them around while chasing our dog Maggie.  They both run around in circles and he thinks it’s hilarious.  She acts annoyed by it, but it’s part of the game.  She can out run him if she wanted to and go hide in her crate.  I think she just likes the attention.

He loves to act like he’s driving our car or truck.  Sometimes we will put him on our lap and let him play with the steering wheel.  He turns the windshield wipers on, opens and closes the garage door, turns the blinker on and off, and cranks up the radio.  I think he really thinks he’s driving.

He loves to play in the nursery at church.  When I’m the nursery volunteer, he gets jealous when I hold another child.  He tries to climb in my lap with them.  When I tell him “No, they are sad because their mommy can’t be there right now”, he will stand there for a while to get reassurance.  When another toddler is crying, he will take them a toy to help cheer them up.

I think he will be a little jealous when the babies first come, but he’s going to make an awesome big brother!!








Let me tell you about John Luke: My light, laughter and sunshine.

*He smiles with his whole face and can light up a room.  His smile can also be very mischevious which allows him to get away with far more than it should.

*He’s all boy and is going to be destructive.  If he can push it, pull it, haul it, spill it, or break it, he’s content.  The faster and louder the better.  He especially likes things that go varoommm.  I found this out when a Harley motorcycle flew past us while walking.  I thought he was going to jump out of my arms.

*He is strong-willed and very determined.  When he makes his mind up to do something he means business.  You can see the determination all over his face until he achieves his objective.

*He likes mechanical things and likes to figure things out.  He’s very smart and will mimic you.  If you say, “Show me your muscles, grrr” a few times, he will grit his face and say “grrr” with you.  He will put his arms together like we do (the body builder pose) and copy us.

*You can put up barricades, but he will find away to go around them if you’re not careful.

*He notices small things.  We put up covers for the fireplace edges.  It wasn’t an hour before he noticed them.  And figured out how to pull them off.

*Changing diapers is like fighting a mini Sumo wrestler.  He rolls, flips, twist and sometimes tries to climb off his changing table.  After every diaper change, I declare victory, and feel like I just wrestled down a wild boar.

*He likes to stick out his tongue, and thinks it’s funny to blow food out at the same time.

*After you kiss him, he will clack his tongue.  He thinks he is making the same sound as a kiss, and is kissing you back.

*He’s a very expressive boy.  He squeals when he’s excited, and babbles when he’s tired.

*He’s a very affectionate child.  He strokes your hand when you’re giving him his bottle, or he likes to hold your fingers, and prefers to be held over any toy.

*He is a “people person” and will go to anybody.  But when he’s sleepy he wants his Mama.  I will enjoy these moments while it last, because it will not be that way forever.




This week we took John Luke to the fair to pet the animals and to ride some kiddie rides.  However, he only got to ride the carousel.  We thought there might be a few rides we could ride with him like the train or the small airplanes.  Unfortunately, he’ll have to wait until next year.  The requirements on most were 34” tall to max 54” and kids have to be walking.

I’ve always loved the fair.  Josh, not so much.  I love the rides, the funnel cakes, petting the animals, and the best- people watching.  You never know what you’re gonna see at the fair!  Josh says the fair always brings out the rift raft.  We even had two young adults stop and ask us, “How do you spell Georgia?”  As one person was texting it into the phone, the other was asking, “Did you get that?”

I love, love riding the rides!  All of them, any of them, the faster the better.  Again, Josh not so much.  So lucky for me, I got to use the extra tickets we’d bought for John Luke.  Josh stayed with the stroller and let me ride!   On the ‘Tilt a Whirl’, I’d asked to sit next to a girl who was sitting by herself.  I didn’t want to take up a whole seat if she was by herself too.  She literally picked her nose in front of me as we were talking.  As I said, you never know what you’re gonna see at the fair.

My favorite ride of all time is the Himalayan.  I feel like a teenager every time I get on it.  I hear the 80’s music playing and feel the wind blowing through my hair.  Takes me back!  John Luke- I hope someday you will have songs that you’ll cherish for all time.  That no matter where you are, you will want to stop and feel the beat, and enjoy life.

Even though John Luke only got to ride the carousel (we rode twice and the second time about put him to sleep) we had fun.  The fair always makes me feel like fall is around the corner.  I love reminiscing of days past riding the same rides after all these years.

I do want to add a side note to all you out there with “Empty Arms”.  Events like this used to make me so sad.  Seeing all the people their with their children; their families complete and wondering if mine ever would be too.  I thought of you.  I hurt for you.  Although, I felt so good and happy, it was bittersweet remembering all the years I felt that emptiness.  It wasn’t so long ago, I was in the same place you might be in right now.

In the “Ride of Life”, I don’t know if the path to completing your family will be the same as mine, but I wish you well along your journey.  In my heart of hearts, I wish you well.

I hope one day your family will be complete too.

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This week I’ve been trying to transition John Luke into a schedule rather than feeding on demand.  After his pediatrician telling me he should be sleeping through the night, then in the nursery Sunday morning, I had a discussion with some friends that said they felt it would be better for him and for me.

Since he’s almost 9 months, it’s time for us both to have a little more structure in our routine.  It hasn’t been easy.  I think we’ve both “cried it out” a little, but we’re getting there.  They suggested I do 7AM,11AM, 3AM feeding times during the day and give him a bottle at 11PM then let him “cry it out” til 7AM.   Both friends give their kids bottles at 7PM and they are down til 7AM.  Ugh!  I tried feeding 7-11-3 once before, but it didn’t work at the time.  So far it has been working for us despite a few bumps.

John Luke was typically getting a bottle of rice cereal around 10-10:30PM, 2-2:30PM, and back to regular formula 6-6:30AM.  I’m not quite ready to make him stretch from 7PM -7AM or 11PM-7AM, so I’ve been giving him a bottle around 12AM to help him last longer.  I think that’s been helping until I can transition him to a 11-7 schedule.

I decided it was time to turn the monitor off.  The nursery shares a wall with our room.  I thought it’d help not hearing his cries until he really turned up those pipes.  The first night he woke up around 4AM.  I admit, I caved.  I wasn’t quite ready; and was having some separation anxiety myself.  I got him back on schedule during the day feeding him a light breakfast at 8, so he was ready to eat again by 11.

The next night I still fed him around midnight.  He woke up at 6:05AM.  I went ahead and gave him a bottle, it was close enough to 7 for me.  I felt like I could get him back on track during the day.

The hardest night was when he woke up at 5AM.  He cried for about 20 minutes, fell back asleep, then cried another 10, then he was out again.  That last 10 minutes was hard.  I started to cry and almost caved.  I made the mistake of turning on the monitor to watch him.  He grabs on to the bars and shakes forward and back.  He kept sticking his hands through the bars, and one time he looked like he was trying to find a way to climb out.  It was tearing at my heartstrings, but I knew if I kept caving we’d never get anywhere.  He wore himself down crying, then finally laid back down.

So far the best night has been when I fed late, around 12:30AM.  The next morning I woke up at 7:37AM, and realized I hadn’t woken to any cries.  I turned on the monitor expecting to find him sleeping.  He was playing with his toys in his crib and hadn’t made a peep.

This morning a funny thing happened.  I woke up again around 7:30AM to find him playing in his crib.  I turned on the monitor and watched him for a few minutes before going in to get him.  He’d started “talking” and pulling on the bars so I got up.

When I went into his room, the smell met me at the door.  As I got closer to the crib, I noticed poop all over his face.  Great!! Chuckle, sarcasm emphasised!  He’d stuck his hand in his diaper and smeared it on his face.  He did it right too making sure he got both bumpers, the sheet, his blanket and some of his toys.  Of all days, a water valve had busted in the basement.  We had to wait to get a plumber out to fix it before everything could be washed.

As I tell everybody, he’s all boy and there’s never a dull moment around here…